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Not that she hated me or was thinking less of me, but sincerely considering my statement.She said, “Sweetheart, I’m not even sure if I’d ever even considered another time with Gus, never mind if you could watch. I honestly don’t know if I could do that, but I will think about it. Please give me a few days and I’ll give you an answer and we can talk more, okay?”“Good enough,” I said.We left it at that and life went on, almost like normal, but of course, you can never put the genie back in the bottle the same way once it’s out. I will say that we had spectacularly astonishing sex every night for the next week. Interspaced amongst the sex was lots of sharing our feelings and talking through concerns. In some ways, we were closer physically and spiritually than ever before.A week went by and I thought Deb had forgotten her promise to give me an answer, but of course, she hadn’t. She’s not built that way. On the next Saturday morning, she told me that we should talk that afternoon about. I stayed with Mike until he was again sleeping soundly. I felt very close to Mike. He was no longer the stranger who was also my brother. We had a connection. I'm alone in the world and I wanted to be needed. Mike needed me.The next morning I was standing at the stove cooking breakfast -- still in my pajama bottoms and t-shirt -- when he came out of the bedroom and hugged me from behind. "Thanks for last night," he said. "I'm sorry."I turned around and pulled him to me and kissed him on the forehead. "You've been sick, silly boy. That's what I'm here for." As I hugged him, I couldn't help but feel his partial erection. "So," I thought, "he was not rendered totally incapable by the chemotherapy." I mentally chastised myself for the thought, gave him another squeeze and felt my nipples harden as my breasts pressed against his bare chest. I turned away, hoping he wouldn't notice their outline poking through the t-shirt, and announced that the coffee was ready.We had a fun day and I began.
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